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Lost in a Sea of Conservatives
November 4, 2004 |
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Unless you're here for the first time you realize this is one in a series of many people's reactions to the election, but I'll mention it anyway. If you'd like to add your own thoughts email them to writing@noahbrier.com.
I think I want to start this post by telling you all a little bit about myself. I am a 22-year-old female, who proudly thinks of herself as a Feminist (and by Feminist, I want things equal for women, not better). I also strive to be a Humanist, as I want all people to be viewed as equals, treated fairly, and not judged by their color, religion, or sexual preference. I’ve attended two peaceful protests in Washington D.C. (Spring 2003-against the War, April 2004- March for Women’s Lives), and I’ve made a vow to myself to attend one protest that I believe in every year for the rest of my life. I’m registered as an Independent. In 2000 I voted for Nader (I felt it was worth a shot), and the minute my younger cousins turned 18 I reminded them to register to vote. I just graduated in May, and once I settle down with a career, I want to design for a nonprofit organization.
That being said, and me visiting this website in the first place, I’m sure we can all assume who I voted for (hint: not Nader). But, I’m not going to lie, when I first became a Kerry fan, it was only because I was a Bush hater (“Kerry sucks less�). But then, I decided to get more involved, and actually educate myself on my options. Well, after some researching, self-discovery, and the first Presidential debate, I became a diehard Kerry fan.
Well, it’s been a couple of days now since the devastating let down -- I mean, outcome, of the election. I like to consider myself a very open-minded and rational person, but I have been a complete basket case since Tuesday. I’ve been debating/fighting with anyone who’s willing, I’ve been insulting Bush and the Republicans every time I open my mouth, and worst of all is I’ve been contemplating friendships with people who actually voted for Bush. I don’t like how I’ve been acting, or even thinking (I filled something out on line to see if I could get a work visa in New Zealand, ya know-for 4 years…I can’t). But I can’t help it, in fact there’s a lot of things I can’t do right now:
I can’t believe Bush won.
I can’t believe SO MANY people actually support Bush….nor can I believe that they believe he should continue to lead this country, especially with how things have been these past 4 years.
I can’t believe how many states were colored in RED.
I can’t believe my Mom (and I think my Dad too) voted for Bush….my parents who were hippies in the 60s, and even went to Woodstock!!
I can’t believe that the Republicans are now in control of the House and Senate, and soon enough the Supreme Court.
I CAN’T BELIEVE that it is only a matter of time before Bush puts 3 right wing religious fanatics in the Supreme Court, and I am going to LOSE my right to choose what to do with MY body. Which leads me to my next disbelief:
I can’t believe that a man who thinks it is morally wrong to kill cells in the name of research, has NO PROBLEM with sending live humans overseas to war…to kill other living humans. What?!?!
I can’t believe that if my boyfriend happened to be a girl, I wouldn’t be allowed to marry her, b/c the Bible (which, contrary to Bush and other Conservatives’ beliefs, is NOT our Constitution) doesn’t approve.
I can’t believe that people don’t realize that by voting for Bush, they’ve voted to reverse a core belief that America was created on: Separation of Church and State.
I really don’t mean to, or want to, be so negative. This is not a proud time for me, and as much as I don’t want to say it, I don’t think it’s a proud time for America. I feel very stuck, and scared. I literally cannot find it in myself to respect anyone who voted for Bush-and that makes me feel like an awful person. I must say-it was very comforting to read what everyone else here had to say, it made me feel a little better.
But now what?? The only silver lining I’ve been able to see is that I’ll have PLENTY of protests to attend in the next 4 yrs, and you better believe I’ll be there. But will I ever get over these negative feelings?? Will the disappointment I feel towards my friends/family members/fellow Americans/country go away?? Is Bush going to F up things even more…can he?!?! Will America ever be respected again as the great country that it once was?? Will America ever be the great country that it once was?? I don’t know. I appreciate that some of you tried to remain positive, and hopeful, and I’m very sorry that I could not do the same. I just felt this was just my opportunity to vent about a situation I feel very strongly about.
I guess this is a turning point for me, an opportunity for me to grow. I will not leave America-as much as I disagree with and do not respect the majority of people and government of this country. Bush hasn’t taken my Freedom of Speech…yet. So, Activism it is!! I vow to remain involved, and refuse to back down. I’ve done my part as a citizen, and voted. But, I (we) can’t stop there. I like Benjamin’s idea-each one of us trying to open the eyes of those on the other side. I will also vow to attempt to stop being so negative about this situation, and instead, use that energy to be proactive.
Thank you all for your time, and thank you Noah for this space to vent. It gave me an opportunity to gather my thoughts, and I feel a lot better.
Amy Brancato is a graphic designer and laughs at really bad jokes about lobsters.
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