Stay Out of My Business!
For all of time people have had their own definitions. The meaning of a word like friend is not universal. A friend to me might be someone I call at least five times a week, while you might call that guy you met once in third grade a friend. Before the internet this wasn’t really a problem. However you defined friend was fine by me.
All of a sudden social networking sites came along and friend became a verb.The action part was much more important than the adjective. Everything was cool until Friendster decided to define the social meaning of friend as well. A friend could not be a made up person or object. That, along with incredibly slow service, sunk the site.
Now Facebook seems to be repeating the mistake. They have taken decided that they know what a friend is better than you do. Just read how Mark Zuckerberg told the Facebook community to calm down about the news feed feature: “Facebook is about real connections to actual friends, so the stories coming in are of interest to the people receiving them, since they are significant to the person creating them.”
I’d be willing to wager that the vast majority of Facebookers wouldn’t define their Facebook friends as “real connections to actual friends.” How many people do you know with 500 ‘real friends’? Danah Boyd boils it down quite nicely: “The term “friend” in the context of social network sites is not the same as in everyday vernacular. And people know this. This is why they used to say fun things like ‘Well, she’s my Friendster but not my friend.’ (The language doesn’t work out so cleanly on Facebook.) The term is terrible but it means something different on these sites; it’s not to anyone’s advantage to assume that the rules of friendship apply to Friendship.”
This is a case of a platform overstepping its boundaries. For better or for worse, as social networking sites become a larger part of our lives the site itself begins to slide into the background. I feel like a broken record, but people don’t go to Myspace for Myspace, they go for my space. Same with Facebook, this is where people congregate. It’s a virtual town square. Now wouldn’t it make you a little uncomfortable if when you visited your real town square everyone you were given a full readout of everyone else’s exploits?
There’s one more important point to make here, though. I’m probably about to contradict everything I said.
This is not a town square. This is a digital universe. Built into this universe are certain rules and possibilities that simply don’t exist in your grass and gazebo park. All of this information is already out there and there’s a certain feeling of inevitability to the whole thing. The mistake Facebook made was not making news feed available, it was releasing it and making it default. Facebook is a platform, the users are the value, don’t define their world for them.
I guess that wasn’t so contradictory, was it?
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Great points. I love the idea of the news feed, but I think they should make it controllable – you decide what you send out in your newswire – just by checking events or drag and drop.
Adam, glad you enjoyed it.
They actually have made news feed controllable, but it’s an opt-out, not an opt-in.
Even as a non-Facebook user, I’m seeing and hearing an awful lot about this. Then I read you link to CK’s “Trust is the bond that brands” and I’m wondering … has Facebook broken the bonds of trust with its users? I’m really curious about this. I think I’d be very angry if Facebook had publicized something I didn’t particularly want broadcast, and often, my response to these things is to ‘vote with my feet.’ Are people walking away from Facebook? Will they? Will Facebook’s reactive changes be enough to rebuild trust, or do they need to do something more proactive? I really think there are implications here for the Facebook brand, long term, but maybe I’m not forgiving enough — what do you think?
This is sorta relevant, but much more of a rant. I’m just annoyed at Facebook for their “Relax. Breathe Easy” response to valued users. I’ve been miffed over it for days.
It’s not only marketing 101, but psychology 101 that you never, ever, (did I say never?) tell a frustrated person to “Relax”. It’s demeaning…and completely closes down the person you’re trying to engage.
Surely you guys have tried (and failed) to tell an upset woman to “calm down, just relax, already”. And where did it get you? Likely on the couch for the next 2 nights.
If there’s one thing we’ve learned it’s that there exist myriad opportunities in mess-ups (think I shall post on this soon). Amazing how redeemed a company can become after it’s fudged simply by listening to users and bettering their offerings.
Many times people love a service more AFTER it screws up because it took the hit, admitted the wrongdoing and worked hard to right the wrong.
But Facebook told me to relax and breathe easy–blowing off our concerns and belittling us in the process. They had a prime opportunity to embrace the community–instead they added insult to injury.
Wonder who’s relaxing now?
Barbara (aka Mom), I’m not sure about the implications. I know that something like 70,000 people had signed a petition to get the feature taken away and Facebook did respond by making it opt-out. It’s an interesting situation, though. In a lot of ways, they’re right, there’s a certain feeling of inevitibility to the whole thing. It’s not farfetched (or necessarily bad) to make all our actions transparent to those we choose. But they need to be chosen by us, not by the site we’ve signed up at. I think your trust question is a good one. I’m not sure what the long term implications of this will be. Need to give it some thought.
CK, I’m totally with you. I found his tone offensive. The only reason I’m still talking about this is probably that I was bothered by Zuckerberg’s post so much. That line about Facebook being for ‘real friends’ is so presumptive and offensive. Who are you to tell me who my friends are?
And then there’s the title . . .
CK — I’m not sure if i ever saw the ‘Relax, Breathe Easy’ line, but I may have, and perhaps was reacting to it subconsciously. Its synonym, ‘Calm Down,’ may be my least favorite expression in the entire world — there is NOTHING more irrating than telling me to calm down when I’m heated — and in fact, that’s when I’m most likely to walk away mad. So I appreciate your rant and your views on trust. Anyone know how many facebook customers, if any, walked away?
Barbara: Trust will make or break today’s companies, we’re just in too transparent an age. It’s hit politics, entertainment, the medical field and now business at large (at least we can thank Enron for something).
Brands are built and maintained on trust. When you don’t take care of your customers, you break that bond. Companies can regain it but, while doing so, their competitors are all too happy to prove their worth to miffed customers. And companies like FB, in their all-too-entitled response to customers, will suffer for some time.
I really think it comes down to viewing customers as relationships, not commodities and, as Noah blogged about earlier, focusing more on niches, less on mass audiences (Al & Laurie Ries have been preaching “focus” for decades).
Noah: Thanks for posting on this. I’ve been so miffed at how FB spoke to customers that I just needed a safe place to vent. I was astonished at the arrogance, then I just got angry. All better now :-).
P.S.: There’s a lesson to be learned as FB was looking to gain more users…looks like their tactics will only serve to lose and disrupt their community. God bless this empowered, transparent era.
As an avid facebook user I was extremely upset by the news feed. I didn’t like, nor did I understand, the need for everyone to see the events that I decided to not go to. I think that Mark Zuckerberg likes the idea of expanding the facebook website because as he does it, he only reaps the benefits. He is not the one receiving the hundreds of messages from the upset students and he certainly isn’t directly interacting with the numerous facebook groups that exploded days following, fighting to change facebook back to the old format. The bigger the site gets, even if for bad reasons, the more exposure Mark gets. Facebook is one of the biggest sites on the internet. With the advent of facebook came some of the greatest parts of college social scenes, the idea of “friending” people, stalking people’s friends, classes, and relationships through profiles and setting up groups about everything from ‘Snakes on a Plane’ to people you hate in student government.
To answer the questions about trust and leaving facebook I can only tell you what I have heard from close friends. I had dozens of friends sign up for groups protesting the change; dozen of friends sending messages to the facebook HQ and yes, I had quite a few friends shut their profiles off. With the apology letter many of those people reopened their accounts, but with limited viewing. For myself, not only have I stopped by multiple-times-a-day facebook visits, I can say that I thought the apology was ridiculous. He said he was sorry, he didn’t change anything. It takes more time for me to go through and change my privacy settings for all my friends than I think it should. I am the customer and my fellow customers and I were unhappy with the choice made and it should be more closely taken care of.
Thanks Leah! That answered a lot of my questions. I guess Facebook still serves a purpose not matched elsewhere, which is probably why your friends shut their profiles down, but came back when Mark Zuckerberg “apologized.” I hope you and your friends make it absolutely clear to Zuckerberg that this was indeed “… a case of a platform overstepping its boundaries.” (to quote Noah, aka, your brother) If there’s a way to find out, I’d still like to know how many people actually opted out of Facebook when all this arose. I guess, as Noah has said, it’s a good reminder that you have to be somewhat careful about what you post on Facebook, or anywhere else.
I predict some savvy marketer will find a way to leap into the breach of trust MZ created and in good time, Facebook will face real competition. (Perhaps Noah will start a predictions pool :-) That seems to be the way it goes for brands that are cavalier with their customers’ trust –witness Ford’s recent announcement. Though we still have Microsoft dominance — the exception that proves the rule?
Noah: Way for your entire family to be on your blog. Bravo, Brier’s! I had to send (literally) my blog to my mom (I had to print it out and mail the darn thing to her so she could see it).
Nevermind that I bought her a computer and 2 years’ worth of ISP.
I’m gonna tell her that Noah’s family comments on his blog…maybe that’ll guilt her into finally joining the conversation, as she’d have so much fun and is quite the smartie (she’s just phobic about tech).
They’re a good bunch, what can I say?