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You have arrived at the web home of Noah Brier. This is mostly an archive of over a decade of blogging and other writing. You can read more about me or get in touch. If you want more recent writing of mine, most of that is at my BrXnd marketing x AI newsletter and Why Is This Interesting?, a daily email for the intellectually omnivorous.

January, 2014

Resolutions for an Anteater

A humorous take on an anteater's New Year's resolutions.
So I'm on a pretty good blogging role, but they've all been quite serious. So, to celebrate Friday, and a 5-post week, here's an excerpt from the New Yorker's New Year's Resolutions for an Anteater:
That’s right, you guessed it, I’m gonna eat a shit ton more ants.
I’m gonna eat them off a tree.
I’m gonna eat them off a coconut.
I’m gonna eat them off one of those classy, slanted desks from an antiques shop.
I’m gonna eat them off a globe, off a paperweight, off a ship in a bottle.
I’m gonna eat so many ants, you would think it’s what I’ve been put on Earth to do, just Hoover up ants like the weirdest thing in the world.
It’s like God was like, “Well, I think I overdid it with the ants.” And then had the idea to send some insane, bulky creature down to take care of them. And that’s me.
January 3, 2014
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Noah Brier | Thanks for reading. | Don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk.